i won't wait, so you'd better move fast

i feel vaguely like my nose is going to fall off of my face, yet another herald that autumn is here.
it's a worthwhile sacrifice, this being able to breathe, and besides, allergies make one look cute and vulnerable, and nice girls will get you tissues, if nice and pragmatic is really what does it for you. since i never remember to carry my own tissues, pragmatists are sometimes handy to have around.

i love the demanding chill of the air, running past with its tangible secrets. i love the changing leaves, precursors to personal transformations. is it really almost samhain again? perhaps i'll think of going with tracy this year, since i apparently do nothing but trouble when i go out on my own.

there are miles of that town bathed in one night of my blood, that cursed rainy night and the bloodied footprints as the rain hit feet, hit concrete, and swept up that part of me, to be mingled in with a million other sounds and lives and moments.

sometimes that night haunts me, and i wonder why i did what i did. but asking questions like that is simply silly, when you stop to consider that wedged in between the alpha and omega really simply lies no choice, nothing that can possibly be done except to manipulate the letters we are given to tell the same story over and over and over again until we get it right.

a year ago was work and lots of play. bubble teas and meandering nights with jill, walking and just conversing about what became not really anything at all.